My god, what a bunch of FREAKS! These monstrosities are the characters to be used in the new layout (which should be up soonish) of me and my mate's website, Offal: [link]
So, here are the characters, from top to bottom, left to right.
1. Slig (Big green flat thing): Manically depressed 'vomit-green' coloured cyclops thing, who enjoys a puff on his pipe.
2. The Skanked-up Giraffe: Hideously deformed giraffe, cursed with a lack of pupils and fat lips.
3. Elvis Squid: The spirit of Elvis Presley trapped in squid form. Rumour has it that Elvis was trying to crap on this squid when he died on the toilet.
4. Miss Chinnery (The bulgy-eyed, big chinned thing): Annoying bint, cursed with a whack-off chin, of Buzz Lightyear proportions.
5. Worzel (Wide-headed fella): Floating face, who enjoys drinking cud. Son of 'Dave'.
6. Geet (The 'tasched fella): Noseless, 'tached 10 year old son of 'Dave', with extremely FAT lips.
7. Chinny Earth: A globe, with a CHIN.
8. The Obese Wasp: Wasp with a weight problem. Enjoys eating sparrows. Labels himself.
9. Spatula-Bob: Penguin-wielding, alcoholic Spatula.
10. Ben B. Snapplable (Huge foreheaded fella): Painfully thin person with bones like biscuit.
11. Splem: Daughter (yes) of 'Dave'. Green alien thing, with a nose under her mouth. Has crabs.
12. Mr. T Bee (Next to Worzel's 'Cud in a Can'): The Bee that 'Pities the fool'. Hates getting on planes. In fact, just hates flying.
13. Nervis the Cheese Bandit (Yellow grinning thing): Cheese Enthusiast who is made of BRIE. Obvious, really! And he wears Y-fronts.
14. Peter Wrasse: Head of the 'Save the Wrasse' movement, Peter enjoys nothing more that smoking his pipe and chewing walnuts.
15. 70's Pig: A porker who loves the 70's, and the odd spliff.
16. Corporal Arse: The arse who's in the army! Stays afloat using farts.
17. Skullmallard: A mallard with a severe lack of skin on it's face. Enjoys karaoke.
18. Skullbudgie: Suffers from the same problem as Skullmallard. Skullbudgie KNOWS EVERYTHING! Even why men have nipples!
19. Ebola Ferret: A ferret with Ebola. As simple as that!
20. Eye on Legs: Eyeball mounted on robotic legs. Speaks gibberish.
21. The Severed Nugget: A chicken nugget which was massacred by a rampant knife. The attack left him... well... severed!
22. Gibletson (under 70's Pig's spliff): Living turkey giblets!
23. Eggmageddon: Bunch of sadistic Eggs, which turn their enemies into flaps of meringue.
24. Rasta Leg: 'Ay, mon! I is Rasta, man! Well, leg... He's a painfully Rastafarian Leg.
25. Billy the Peanut: A Cowboy Peanut. He can shoot a fly off a cashew nut's arse without cracking it!
26. Wheelie Bin Liver: An upper class Liver, who lives in a wheelie bin. Owns a lovely top hat and monicle.
"Who is this 'Dave'?" I hear you screaming! Well, I don't know. It's a mystery!